Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
