Me too!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
