Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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