We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my being single is dangerous.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
