69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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