You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
