He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
