evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
