wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
