at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I have post one night stand depression
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