Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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