I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
