Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
