Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
