Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
