the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
