spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
