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I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Are we still banned from the library?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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