i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
