Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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