Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
