I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
