The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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