I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
