I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
