just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
