Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
