i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
