i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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