Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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