I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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