She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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