how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
