singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
