I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
