The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
