sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
