you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
