my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
