i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
