We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
