a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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