I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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