butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
