fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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