Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
