I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
