Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
