I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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