It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
