a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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