I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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