Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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