Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My feet surprised me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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