I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
