She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
